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Having An Inner Circle And Who To Put In It



If any of our regular blog readers have ever seen our Director’s Joe Postings’ profile on Linkedin, you might have noticed that it covers a wide variety of interests. We re-shared one of his posts recently that related to another one of his interests, which is psychology and specifically psychology in the workplace. This eclectic range of interests has meant that as a company our content tends to cover quite a wide range of different topics. We also see them as related in one way or another and that is how we justify using them as topics for our blogs.


For instance the title of this blog might have illiced the understandable response in one or two readers that it doesn't seem to have much to do with JSP Credit Management, but as has happened in many a blog in the past, you might also have come to expect us to find a way to challenge the unconscious assumptions that sometimes exist in business, and true enough that is what we intend to do in this blog too.


I guess the operative phrase in this blog is that of the “inner circle”, so let's start off by exploring that in a bit more detail for those that have not come across it before, or have come across it but never really understand the context in which it is used. Sadly we cannot do as much research as we usually do on our blogs this time as our resident blog writer happens to be writing this from 37000 ft in the air using an airline that does not yet offer in-flight WiFi. If we did have the capability we would have offered some history on the phrase at this point!


However, in absence of a commentary on the history of its use as a phrase in literature or as a form of common language, we will instead offer our own perspective on what it is. And, disclaimer, that is all it is, just our perspective. We encourage other peoples different opinions on what it means to them and that is something we have said on a few occasions before too. We also concede that the dictionary might have a different interpretation of it too and that is fine with us. So without further ado, let's get down to business…..


An inner circle in the context that it is meant in this blog is something that describes the relationship between yourself and those people that you not only choose to surround yourself with but also implicitly trust more deeply than the other people you surround yourself with. To us, there is a distinction. There is the vast majority of people that you know, and then there are a select few for whom you have unconditional trust and respect. These people are the people who you consider to be the most valuable in your life as a result of these conditions being present in the nature of those relationships.


We are mindful not to start suggesting who they could be as it is not necessarily about what role those people have in your life, but instead we believe it could be anyone. Family members, friends, teachers/tutors, managers at work, healthcare practitioners of any kind, the list is really endless. We have heard on many occasions of people talk about having a special relationship with a pet and also talk about preferring animals over humans. It is not for us to judge who best to put in your inner circle, but the ultimate purpose of this blog is to encourage you to form one.


But why, you might be wondering? We hope many of you are not wondering and we hope many of you have been happily nodding away whilst reading this so far as you agree with what is being said, hopefully because you can relate to it. But not everyone may do, and that could be for a wide variety of reasons. It is an unfortunate fact of life that some people have grown up deprived of the opportunity to develop an inner circle, but we do not believe that that has to be a permanent fixture in someone's life. Infact scientific research has backed that up too.


Feel free to do some of your own reading up on it on Google Scholar which is a free resource providing access to the general public of a vast amount of peer reviewed scientific literature on an endless list of topics. You would want to be looking at topics around “attachment theory” as it is very closely linked to what is being said here and how consistent insecure or secure attachment styles are over the lifetime. A lady called Elizabeth Meins has done some interesting work on the topic. Overall then, we find that to be a great relief.


So what do we think the benefits of having an inner circle are? Well, generally speaking humans are social creatures. We are not designed to exist in isolation. Infact isolation is still used as a punishment in some justice systems, which in itself tells you something about the impact that it can have on someone's quality of life. But the opposite to that is what we propose you get from an inner circle. A deep and meaningful connection to one and often several people. People who have something about them that is extremely valuable to you as a person.


But it's time to crush another fallacy here. An inner circle does not simply contain a group of people who always tell you everything you want to hear all the time. We do not have the space in this blog to go too deeply into that here but it is our sincere view that those kinds of people can be quite limiting to a person's potential. So, essentially, now and again we need people to tell us the things that are difficult to say, and also difficult for us to hear. We have written about pain being a blessing in disguise in previous blogs and we are saying something similar here. It is through these new insights we get the chance to grow.


Some practical steps on how to approach forming an inner circle, or perhaps even revising an existing one if you think our appraisal of its benefits does not align with your own personal experience of the people who dearest in your life. In our experience, your inner circle does its job best when it is filled with people who possess and demonstrate qualities and traits that you would like to have for yourself. That is especially true when those are qualities and traits that you know you do not possess but would like to at some point in the future. Who better than to show you how to have them than that person you have moved into your inner circle?


We think we have made a good start with what has been said above but what we would finish with is to say that if you find it difficult to bring people into your life who you see as superior to you in some way because they possess these qualities and traits that you wish you had then it might be time to have a look at yourself before you start looking for members of your inner circle. Jealousy was not one of the ingredients of a strong inner circle we mentioned above so that would to be addressed at the outset rather than have it wreak havoc on a relationship later on down the line.


Other than that we wish you all the best with it and we hope you find the same results from having an inner circle as us and if you do, or can relate already to what has been said then feel free to get in touch and let us know. We would be delighted to carry on the conversation with you. If you want to discuss anything else credit management related, also get in touch, our number is +44(0)1827 66820 or collections@jspcreditmanagement.co.uk.



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